Lately i feel like i cannot focus. I have so much to do, and yet accomplish none of it. I'd love to blame it on playing video games, but if i didnt play WoW i'd just spend hours watching tv or movies to avoid work instead. The reality is, i just am completely overwhelmed right now by school and i dont know how to cope with it.
I think this will be less of an issue after comps next week, but even saying "comps next week" is sort of terrifying. I'm not worried that i will fail, i'm more worried that i will diappoint those who have invested so much time and effort into not only my program here, but also my ability to continue my education.
On top of that, its spring quarter, we're all insanely stressed, and we've all known eachother for more than 8 months. If you've never talked to me about it before, i firmly belive it takes you 8 months to fully know someone, or at least solidify your opinion. At that mark, girlfriends, boyfriends, best friends, classmates, everyone - you either get sick of them and fight or solidify some form of friendship that will continue onward. Therefore, we're all either secretly (openly?) sick of eachother, or if not sick, secretly sad we all know we'll be parting ways soon enough.
A one year program is so fast, almost too fast. Yet, it can drag on ad nauseum.
On top of this, i've started to grow alarmingly aware of how close time-wise august is from now. And just how soon i'll have to start making moving arrangements and all that. Exciting, but terrifying.
I think this post is a pretty good example of what i expressed in the beginning, the lack of focus. I dont even know what this post is about. I really hope that this all decides to neatly work itself out after comps. That would be great.
"Don't stop if I fall, and dont look back. Oh baby don't stop, bury me and fade to black" - MCR
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